Raising a family isn’t always easy. You are busy, and so are your children. There is a lot to do in little time. But the stakes are high. Today, many kids are overweight or obese. A healthy, active lifestyle can help maintain weight. It also can prevent health issues, such as diabetes, heart disease, asthma, and high blood pressure. It is important to create healthy habits early on. These will help you make smart choices for your family. Children imitate their parents, so it’s important to set a good example. The tips below can help your family be healthy and happy. Path to improved health:- Eating better (for children and families)
Eating better (for parents)
Being more active (for children and families)
Being more active (for parents)
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Good table manners go beyond proper eating and feeling proud of your kid’s etiquette at family holidays — they also will last a lifetime. From high chair to school lunch room to business lunches, your children will have to eat with others throughout their lives, and hopefully they will leave a positive impression on them. Developing table manners is one of the earliest steps parents can take in teaching and modeling good behavior to their children. And, families that eat together most days of the week tend to be healthier. It is never too early to start this process. Teaching table manners can start when the child is eating independently out of the high chair or old enough to sit at the table. Table manners taught in the early phases include teaching kids to not reach across the table, eat from their own plate, put a napkin in their lap and say please and thank you. Parents are the most important role models for children and can provide ongoing positive reinforcement of good table manners at family dinners. Having family meals is the best way to model and teach good manners, especially when introducing kids to new foods. They can be taught to politely say when they don’t like something. Also, young kids often can’t sit the whole meal, but can learn to say excuse me and leave, rather than interrupt the meal. In addition, never correct manners in an insulting way and explain to kids why you practice manners, such as why we chew with our mouth closed and put our napkin on our lap. Everyone at the table should get a chance to be part of a positive conversation. Keep it lighthearted and fun and talk about positive things at the table. Kids, even as young as 3 to 5 years old, can get involved by learning to set the dinner table. Other important rules, of course, are no elbows on the table and in today's electronic culture — no tech devices, phones or texting at the table! Good table manners are about respect for the household and can bring out the pleasure of eating. It is something that everyone can do well. Many parents think that it's premature to teach values to a toddler or preschooler. But that's a misconception. Here are the values that all children should develop by their fifth birthday, and some easy ways to make them stick. Value #1: Honesty:-Help Kids Find a Way To Tell the Truth The best way to encourage truthfulness in your child is to be a truthful person yourself. Consider this story: Carol decided to limit the number of playdates between her 3-year-old son, Chris, and his friend Paul. The boys had been fighting a lot recently, and Carol thought they should spend some time apart. So when Paul's mother called one afternoon to arrange a get-together, Carol told her that Chris was sick. Overhearing this, her son asked, "Am I sick, Mommy? What's wrong with me?" Carol, taken aback by her son's frightened look, told him she had only said he was sick, because she didn't want to hurt Paul's mother's feelings. Carol then launched into a complicated explanation of the distinctions between the various types of lies, and Chris was confused. All he understood was that fibbing is sometimes okay-and that, in fact, it's what people do. Your child takes his cues from you, so it's important that you try to avoid any kind of deception, even a seemingly innocuous one. (Never, for instance, say something like "Let's not tell Daddy we got candy this afternoon.") Let your child hear you being truthful with other adults. Carol would have been better off saying, "This isn't a good day for a playdate. I'm concerned that the boys were fighting so much last week. I think they need a break." Another way to promote the value of honesty: Don't overreact if your child lies to you. Instead, help her find a way to tell the truth. When the mother of 4-year-old Janice walked into the family room one afternoon, she saw that her large potted plant had been toppled and that several branches had been snapped off. She knew right away what had happened: Once before, she had seen Janice making her Barbie dolls "climb the trees," and she'd told her daughter at the time that the plants were off-limits. When Mom demanded an explanation, a guilty-looking Janice blamed the family dog. Value #2: Justice:-Insist That Children Make Amends At a recent family gathering, Amy and Marcus, 4-year-old cousins, were making castles out of wooden blocks. Suddenly, Amy knocked over Marcus's castle, and he started to cry. Witnessing the scene, Amy's father chided his daughter and ordered her to apologize. Amy dutifully said, "I'm sorry." Then her dad took her aside and asked, "Do you know why you pushed over his blocks?" She told him that she was mad because Marcus's castle was bigger than hers. The dad told her that though this was no excuse for destroying her cousin's castle, he could understand her feelings. He then sent her back to play. Value #3: Determination:-Encourage Them To Take on a Challenge Five-year-old Jake showed his mother a drawing that he'd made with his new crayons. "That's very bright and colorful," she told him. "Nice job!" The child then ran to his room and dashed off another drawing to bring to his mom for praise-then another and another. "Each one was sloppier than the last," his mother said. "I didn't know what to say." A good response might have been: "Well, Jake, that drawing isn't as carefully done as your other one. Did you try your best on that?" Determination is a value that you can encourage from a very young age. The easiest way to do so is by avoiding excessive praise and by providing children with honest feedback, delivered in a gentle, supportive fashion. Value #4: Consideration:-Teach Them To Think about Others' Feelings Anne was frustrated because her daughters, ages 3 and 4, ended up whining and fighting every time she took them grocery shopping. "I finally told them that we needed to figure out how to do our shopping without everyone, including me, feeling upset," Anne says. The mom asked the girls for suggestions on how to make the trip to the grocery store a better experience for all. The 4-year-old suggested that they bring snacks from home so they wouldn't nag for cookies. The 3-year-old said she would sing quietly to herself so she would feel happy. The girls remembered their promises, and the next trip to the supermarket went much more smoothly. Leaving the store, the younger girl asked, "Do you feel really upset now, Mommy?" The mother assured her that she felt just fine and remarked how nice it was that nobody got into an argument. Do these small problem-solving exercises actually help a child learn the value of consideration? You bet. Over time, even a young child sees that words or actions can make another person smile or feel better, and that when she's kind to someone else, that person is nice to her. This feedback encourages other genuine acts of consideration. Value #5: Love:-Be Generous with Your Affection Parents tend to think that children are naturally loving and generous with their affection. This is true, but for loving sentiments to last, they need to be reciprocated. It's chilling to realize that over the course of a typical busy day, the phrase "I love you" is probably the one that a child is least likely to hear. Let your child see you demonstrate your love and affection for the people in your life. Kiss and hug your spouse when the kids are around. Talk to your children about how much you love and appreciate their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. And, of course, don't let a day pass without expressing your affection for your child himself. Show your love in unexpected ways: Pack a note in his lunch box. Tape a heart to the bathroom mirror so he'll see it when he brushes his teeth. Give her a hug-for no reason. Don't allow frantic morning drop-offs or frenetic afternoon routines squeeze loving gestures out of your day. I can practically guarantee you that the more you say "I love you" to your child, the more your child will say "I love you" back. The more hugs and kisses you give, the more your home will be filled with love and affection. And when our children feel free to express their love to us, we instill in them perhaps the greatest value of all. Despite its reputation for taking things away (namely toys, TV, and cookies), discipline can add a lot to your life — from the time you’re five until 75, or beyond. The end-goal of all parental discipline is to give kids the ability to self-discipline — in other words, to control their own behavior, thoughts, and emotions for the betterment of themselves and others. Traditional discipline lays the foundation for this by helping kids to understand consequences, make behavioral decisions, and establish lasting positive personality traits. So the next time you think you’re just too tired to ask your little one to stop throwing their food on the floor or you can’t imagine repeating the golden rule for the millionth time, remember these, just a few of the long-term benefits your child will enjoy later in life thanks to some discipline now. 1. Discipline allows you to achieve goals by weeding out the distractions in your life. Research published in the Journal of Personality showed that self-control isn’t about deprivation, but actually about managing conflict and making decisions that align with your personal goals. 2. Discipline makes you feel good… Ultimately, self-disciplined folks are proven to feel less stressed throughout their lives. According to another study, “feeling good rather than bad may be a core benefit of having good self-control.” 3. …And satisfied with your life. Researchers found a strong connection between higher levels of self-control and life satisfaction in adults both currently and in the past. In short, the more control you have over yourself, the more you enjoy your life. 4. Discipline creates good students — and lifelong learners. Discipline makes for more intelligent and motivated students. Research shows that students who are highly self-disciplined may be able to better focus on long-term goals and make better choices related to academic engagement. 5. Discipline allows kids to be able to set, and achieve, goals better. Trait self-control is positively related to affective management of goal conflict. That means that even when problems and obstacles arise, a disciplined person can get through it and reach their goals — with higher rates of fulfillment after. 6. Discipline gives you a more positive outlook. Research shows that folks with high levels of self-control are more promotion-focused on acquiring positive gains — thereby facilitating more approach-oriented behaviors, instead of avoiding things. 7. Discipline helps you avoid temptations. One study found that self-control helps people to achieve the things they find important in their lives by not being distracted by immediate pleasures and temptations. Scientists call this “effortful inhibition” — and it’s crucial to accomplish any and all long-term goals. 8. Discipline gives you grit. According to a study in the U.S. National Library of Medicine, “self-control and grit have become two of the most important variables that explain success in different aspects of people’s daily life.” Grit enhances the achievement of the goals that you have the discipline to pursue. Having the discipline to pursue your goals allows you to persevere through external obstacles that try to stop you from achieving them. 9. Discipline makes you more emotionally stable. “Self-control promotes delayed gratification and directly influences thoughts, emotions, and impulses.” It’s that simple. Kids with poor self-control are more likely to display aggressive behavior, experience anxiety, and suffer from depression. 10. Discipline keeps you healthy. Kids who act on impulse instead of acting with discipline are more likely to become obese, smoke, and become dependent on alcohol or drugs. Some research shows that impulsive children may even have shorter lifespans. 11. Discipline puts money in the bank. Children who don’t learn self-control through discipline are more likely to commit crimes. On the flip side, children who display high levels of “effortful inhibition” have much higher chances to become wealthy. It’s easy to get so caught up teaching your child how to write his letters and how to cut his food with a knife that you forget to teach your child to be kind. And some parents worry teaching kindness could actually cause a child to lose his edge in today’s competitive world. But teaching kindness is valuable. Research says teaching kindness has a positive influence on a range of academic, health, and social outcomes for kids. When kindness is taught in school, children experience increased self-esteem, increased motivation to learn, improved attendance, and decreased bullying and violence. Studies also show kids who engage in random acts of kindness are more likely to be accepted by their peers. Their good deeds improve their well-being and help them develop positive perceptions of their world. But, research also suggests children today are more self-absorbed and less empathetic than they were a decade ago. So don’t expect your child to learn kindness by observing his peers. Perform acts of kindness with your child to teach her how to be generous, compassionate, and giving. Of course, your child’s acts of kindness may not be able to be all that ‘random’ since she’ll most likely need some assistance from you. But, teaching her to do nice things for other people now could be the key to helping her recognize opportunities to show kindness later in life. 1. Donate Items to People in Need:- It’s nice to get kids involved in fundraising, but sometimes fundraisers are too abstract. They don’t fully grasp the concept of who they are raising money for or how the money is being used. It’s better to get them directly involved in donating items. Here are a few ways you can encourage your child to donate items to people in need. 2. Write Thank You Notes:- Thank you notes don’t have to involve forcing your kids to write letters to everyone after they've received gifts. Instead, teach your child there are always people you can thank outside of holidays. Point out all the people who work behind the scenes to make life better and encourage your child to thank them. 3. Do Chores for Someone:- Provide acts of service for people who may need a helping hand. When you make it a regular habit to do so, your child will learn to recognize people in need and opportunities when he can pitch in. Here are some ways you can perform chores for others with your child. 4. Care for Animals:- Children often love doing acts of kindness that involve animals. Here are a few ways you can care for animals. 5. Make a Gift for Someone:- Encourage your child to create small gifts he can give away to others. Gifts could be simple crafts that she makes or pictures that she draws. If she earns an allowance, encourage her to spend her own money on craft items. Here are a few ways your child can make gifts for someone else: The key to raising a well-rounded child is to establish a solid support system at home so that she grows up satisfied with her achievements and ambitions. "The goal as a parent is to help your child feel competent and confident, and to help her develop a sense of passion and purpose," says Susan Stiffelman, MFT, an educational therapist and author of Parenting Without Power Struggles. It's the education that happens before she sets foot into school that is crucial in bringing up such a child. "If you want to enhance your child's learning abilities to eventually boost her academic performance, it will take consistency, dedication, and patience," says Michele Borba, Ed.D., an advisor for Parents and the author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Consider these seven techniques if you're looking to raise a child who is well-balanced, healthy, and happy with her accomplishments. Encourage Special Skills: Every child has unique gifts and talents. These special attributes can show up in a traditional school setting, but there are plenty of children who shine after the final bell has rung for the day. Activities like a mommy-and-me music class or karate lessons can open their minds, but your wallet does't need to be involved. "Do not underestimate the power of unstructured play," says Stiffelman. Playing catch in the yard, dancing in the living room, and chasing after lightning bugs provide opportunities for intellectual, physical, and personal development. Stiffelman also suggests finding a hobby or two for yourself. "Allowing your child to see you trying something new may inspire her to do the same." Applaud and Praise Efforts: Research conducted by Carol Dweck, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and a leading researcher in the field of achievement and success, discovered that a person's mind-set can influence behavior. When it comes to parenting, she suggests praising your child for his hard work instead of labeling him as "smart" or "talented." People with a fixed mind-set are usually reluctant to take on challenges because they believe their achievements come from innate abilities. Those with a growth mind-set are usually more willing to face challenges with hard work because they believe in always learning new skills. "Above all, keep in mind that the grade is not what motivates a top student to succeed—it's his inner drive for learning," adds Borba. Positive, or authoritative, parents value mutual respect and being a good listener. Respect Different Learning Styles: Just because you need complete silence while typing an e-mail or balancing your checkbook doesn't mean your child needs a noise-free environment when doing his homework. Harvard researcher Howard Gardner established eight kinds of intelligences, or ways kids learn best, some that include musical, logical-mathematical, linguistic, and interpersonal traits. The trick is to pay attention to how your child learns best so you can identify her specific learning style. For example, if your school-age child is visual, consider using flash cards when she's trying to memorize multiplication tables. If your child falls into the interpersonal intelligence category (that is, he has people smarts), help him improve his vocabulary by connecting descriptive words to people like friends, relatives, and historical figures. Read, Read, Read: When it comes to picking up a book and having story time with your kid, there is no such thing as starting too early. Reading to preschoolers—and keeping books at home—encourages language development, reading skills, and future success in school. "Even if your child is still too young to understand everything you're saying, he will learn to notice the rhythms of language, which will help him build a listening vocabulary," explains Susan M. Heim, author of It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence. In fact, reading to your child has been proven to help him emotionally: A government-funded study conducted by The Institute of Education in the United Kingdom found that 5-year-olds who were read to daily by their parents were less likely to have behavioral problems in school. Eat Dinner Together: Don't worry if cooking isn't your strongest skill -- your child will reap the educational and emotional rewards from conversation, not chicken cacciatore. "Informal discussion topics ('How was your day?,' 'What are you discussing in science?' 'How will you study for that test?') lets your child know your family values learning," explains Borba. A study conducted by Columbia University showed that children who eat at least five meals a week with their families are more likely to achieve higher grades in school and are less likely to develop an eating disorder. If everyone in your home is on a different schedule and can't enjoy dinner at the same time, find another meal (like breakfast or an evening snack) when your family can sit together and review the day's events. Balance Bedtime: Establishing a bedtime—and keeping to it every single night—can be highly effective, but Borba further suggests turning off the computer and TV at least 30 minutes beforehand. If your child has access to a cell phone, she recommends taking it before bedtime because "62 percent of kids admit they use it after the lights go out -- and their parents are clueless!" In 2005 researchers at Tel Aviv University found that missing just one hour of sleep can be enough to reduce a child's cognitive abilities by almost two years the following day. Borba says that a sixth grader who loses precious zzz's the night before a big test could end up performing at a fourth- grade level. Dole Out Endless Hugs: Giving your child a number of hugs throughout the day will help ease any tension she may be feeling. "There's nothing like the human touch to give a child a sense of security," says Heim. Studies of neglected children have shown that kids who don't receive affection can suffer from chronic stress, which can disturb the parts of the brain involved in focusing, learning, and memory. A study in the American Journal of Public Health, published in 2005, reports that touching another person gently has the power to alleviate symptoms—emotional, behavioral, and physical—related to stress. Not only will hugging your little one improve her ability to concentrate, it will also have benefits for you (and make you feel like a million bucks). Your discipline tactics shouldn’t be about controlling your child. Instead, discipline should be about teaching your child how to control himself. Kids who learn self-discipline will be better equipped to face life’s challenges, manage stress, and make healthy choices even when you’re not around. What Self-Discipline Means? Just because a child is well-behaved, it doesn’t necessarily mean he has self-discipline. Self-disciplined kids can choose to forgo immediate gratification. They can make good choices regardless of how they feel. Kids who have self-discipline can cope with uncomfortable emotions in a healthy way. They’ve learned anger management skills and are able to control impulsive behavior. They can respond respectfully when adults correct them and they can take responsibility for their behavior. They’ve also learned to make healthy choices for themselves based on weighing the pros and cons of their choices. Instead of saying, “I have to do this because my parents said so,” they recognize the importance of making healthy choices. They can make good decisions in terms of chores, homework, money, peer pressure and self-care. Provide Structure: Create a similar schedule every day and your child will get used to the routine. When she knows what she's supposed to be doing, she'll be less likely to get derailed by other activities. A good morning routine helps kids know when it's time to eat breakfast, comb their hair, brush their teeth, and get dressed. A good after-school routine teaches kids how to divide their time between chores, homework, and fun activities. And a consistent bedtime routine will help kids settle down and fall asleep faster. Keep your child's routines simple. And with practice, your child will learn to implement the routine without your assistance. Explain the Reason Behind Your Rules: When it comes to helping kids learn how to make healthy choices, an authoritative approach is best because it helps kids understand the reasons for the rules. Instead of saying, “Do your homework now because I said so,” explain the underlying reason for the rule. Say, “It’s a good choice to do your homework first and then have free time later, as a reward for getting your work done.” This helps them to understand the underlying reasons for your rules. Instead of saying, "My mom said I have to do this," your child will understand the rules serve a purpose. Of course, you don't want to launch lengthy explanations or lectures that will bore your child. But a quick explanation about why you think certain choices are important can help your child understand choices better. Give Consequences: Sometimes, natural consequences can teach some of life's greatest lessons. A child who constantly forgets to grab his jacket as he runs out the door won't learn if a parent always delivers his jacket to the school. Facing the natural consequences of his behavior (like feeling cold at recess) might help remember to get his coat next time. At other times, kids need logical consequences. A child who plays too rough with his mother’s computer might learn to be gentler when he loses his computer privileges. Or a child who has trouble getting up in the morning may need an earlier bedtime that night. It’s important to avoid power struggles. Trying to force your child to do something won't teach self-discipline. Explain what the negative consequences will be if your child makes a poor choice. Then, let your child make the choice. Say, "If you don't pick up your toys right now, you'll need to go to time-out." Follow through with a consequence if he doesn't pick up, but don't yell or try to force him into compliance. Keep in mind that he needs to learn how to make healthy decisions on his own, by examining the potential consequences of his behavior. Shape Behavior One Step at a Time: Self-discipline is a process that takes years to hone and refine. Use age-appropriate discipline strategies to shape behavior one step at a time. Instead of expecting a 6-year-old to suddenly be able to do his entire morning routine without any reminders, use a picture chart on the wall that depicts someone combing his hair, brushing his teeth, and getting dressed. You can even take pictures of your child doing these activities and create your own chart. When necessary, provide reminders to your child to look at the chart until he is able to look at the chart and do each task on his own. Eventually, he’ll need fewer reminders and won’t require the chart as his self-discipline improves. Any time your child is learning a new skill or gaining more independence, help him do so one small step at a time. Praise Good Behavior: Provide positive attention and praise whenever your child demonstrates self-discipline. Point out the good behavior you want to see more often. For example, instead of saying "Good job not hitting your brother when you were mad," say, "Good job using your words to solve the problem." Sometimes good behavior goes unnoticed and giving kids praise for making good choices increases the likelihood that they’ll repeat that behavior. Provide praise when kids do things without requiring reminders. Say, “Great job sitting down to do your homework before I even told you to!” or “I’m so proud that you chose to clean your room today all on your own.” Even saying, “Great job putting your dish in the sink when you were done eating,” can encourage a repeat performance. Teach Problem-Solving Skills: Teach problem-solving skills and work together to problem-solve specific issues related to self-discipline. Sometimes, asking kids what they think would be helpful can be an eye-opening experience that can lead to creative solutions. There may be a fairly simple solution to a behavior problem. A child who struggles to get dressed in time for school may benefit from having her outfit picked out the night before. Setting a timer for five minutes might also keep her on task. More complex problems may require a series of trial and error type interventions. A teenager who isn’t getting his homework done may need several changes before he becomes more motivated to get his work done on his own. Try removing a privilege. If that doesn’t work, try having him stay after school to see if he can get it done before he comes home. Keep trying different solutions until you can find something that works while keeping him involved in the process. Model Self-Discipline: Kids learn best by watching adults. If your child sees you procrastinating or choosing to watch TV instead of doing the dishes, he’ll pick up on your habits. Make it a priority to model self-discipline. Pay attention to areas where you might struggle with discipline. Perhaps you spend too much money, eat too much, or lose your temper when you're angry. Work on those areas and make it clear to your child that you seek to do better. Reward Good Behavior: A reward system can target specific behavior problems. A preschooler who struggles to stay in his own bed at night may benefit from a sticker chart to motivate him. An older child who struggles to do his homework on time and get his chores done may benefit from a token economy system. Reward systems should be short-term. Phase them out as your child begins to gain self-discipline. Keep in mind that there are plenty of rewards that don’t cost money. Use extra privileges, like electronics time, to motivate your child to become more responsible. Why is respect important? Receiving respect from others is important because it helps us to feel safe and to express ourselves. Being respected by important people in our lives growing up teaches us how to be respectful toward others. Respect means that you accept somebody for who they are, even when they’re different from you or you don’t agree with them. Respect in your relationships builds feelings of trust, safety, and wellbeing. Respect doesn’t have to come naturally – it is something you learn. What exactly is respect? It’s the sense of worth or personal value that you attach to someone. Respect is an overall evaluation you give someone based on many factors – what that person is doing with their life, how they treat you and others, whether they are honest or not and if they seem to consistently do good things, large or small, for other people. In short, respect is a positive view that you form of how someone is living their life. On the other hand, self-respect is your view of how you’re living your life. In this two-part series, we will explore three areas of respect – self-respect, respect for others and other people’s respect for you. All three of these areas of respect are very important. It Starts with Self-Respect Respecting yourself means giving and defining your own worth and value as a human being. Think about this: if you do not respect yourself, it will be more difficult for you to respect anyone else. So it all begins with self-respect. But how do I go about respecting myself? Outlined below is a list of ideals that are fundamental to self-respect. Once you begin to genuinely adopt and develop these, you’ll be on your way to developing a healthy level of self-respect. However, as we talked about the true you in a previous article, certain ideals have the greatest impact on your level of self-respect and you’ll have to determine how that quality will be deployed within your life.
You should address each of these ideals within your own life in order to carry a well-rounded respect for yourself. If you haven’t done so already, start working on each and every one of them. Keep a journal to track your progress. And, as always, if you need help with any of them, turn to a valued listener for help. Showing Respect for OthersJust like with yourself, when you demonstrate respect for others, you give value to their being and ideals. In addition, you’ll make someone feel good by granting them respect, provided, of course, that it’s something that they deserve. One of the best ways to show respect for someone is to truly listen to another’s point of view. Obviously, we’ll not always agree with one another on every topic (and you should never adopt a point of view with which you do not agree), but we should allow each other to have and express our own views – regardless of whether we agree with them or not. Keep this in mind: you owe everyone a basic level of respect for being a fellow human being, but your level of respect for others will vary from person to person. Just like your self-respect will grow as you master the ideals discussed above, your level of respect for others will vary depending upon your view of them and their own self-respect. There’s nothing wrong with affording some people greater respect than others. You should be kind and polite to everyone – no question about that. But for obvious reasons, some of us simply deserve more respect than others. For example, I think we would all agree that a consistently honest person deserves more respect than a habitual liar. So, always be kind, polite and afford a basic level of respect for your fellow man, but you shouldn’t afford beyond basic respect to those who aren’t working on ideals you believe to be important. Respect is one of mankind’s most noble sentiments. The highest levels of respect are always earned – never given. This is true of self-respect as well as respect for others. Before granting the highest level of self-respect or respect for others, make sure the person is worthy of the honor. To learn more about teaching basic moral values to your kids, you can take help from teaching money management . 1. If you have to win, don’t try to run ahead of others, try to outrun yourself:- Compete against who you are today so that tomorrow you emerge as a better person--even if it is just slightly better than who you were yesterday. In the long run it will all add up. 2. If you want to succeed, follow your interests and whatever you truly care for:- Think about what makes your day, what motivates you even in the darkest of your moments, what excites you and drives you. Once you know what it is, follow it with all your heart. 3. If you want to be loved and give love to others, fall in love with yourself first:- Approve of who you are, instead of seeking others to approve of you and your actions. Be comfortable with your physical appearance and make peace with your inner being. Don’t try to fit in, stand out and make a mark for yourself! 4. If you want to be happy, don’t chase after happiness:- Happiness cannot be achieved by running after it because it does not exist outside you; true happiness is within you in the form of compassion, love, gratitude, creativity and goodness. Practice these virtues every day to find true, everlasting happiness in each and every moment of your life. 5. If you need companionship, try to be your own best friend first:- Try to know yourself better by spending some introspective time every day, read a lot, write a bit, explore your dreams, travel unknown trails and the day you get lost is the day you will truly find yourself, and the day you find yourself, success, rewards, friends and joy will follow. 6. If you want to rise in life, throw away the baggage that’s holding you down:- Liberate your true self by letting go of painful memories, fears, doubts, worries of the future, regrets and grudges. This will create space in your life for the important and the meaningful. 7. If you want to make each day your best day, practice gratitude:- Life is beautiful and each moment brings with it something we can be grateful about, appreciate it and end your day by being thankful for all the good things that happened to you. 8.If you wish to be strong, practice forgiveness:- If someone lets you down, forgive them but make sure not to allow them to hurt you again. Forgive yourself too of your wrongdoings but don’t stop trusting yourself or trying new things; learn from your mistakes, be thankful for the experience and move ahead. 9. If you want good things to happen to you, practice goodness yourself:- The world will not always be good to you and people will hurt you and situations will work against you, believe in goodness and the power of compassion anyway. Believe that in this circle of life, the good that you do today will come back to you tomorrow. 10. If you want to make good decisions, take responsibility:- Keep your commitments, take responsibility for your actions, stick to your words and the promises you make to others and when you make a choice, stand by it till the end. 11. If you want to avoid anger and frustration, accept change:- No matter how much structure you build around and how many regimes you follow, life will still throw a lot of surprises at you and routines will go haywire. Accept it because it is the only way to allow better things in life. 12. If you want others to think high of you, look up to yourself first:- Develop your own standards, value your principles, hone your personality and appreciate your talents. Your self-worth will dictate what others think of you. 13. If you want to live long, practice good habits:- Take the best care of your body: Exercise daily, be active, get out of your comfort zone, eat healthy, get some sun, feel the fresh morning air on your face, connect with nature and the beautiful world outside. 14. If you want to keep growing, keep learning:- Life is a continuous process of learning, enlightening and improving yourself and demands you to be in a constant state of evolution. Knowing that you are each and every day becoming a better person is the only way to keep growing. 15. If you are going through a rough patch in life, help yourself:- When you are going through difficult times, don’t look to others for help, because your best savior is nobody but yourself. Keep a positive mind frame, stop asking “why me?”, believe that you can, make an exit plan and take action. 16. When in doubt, ask yourself a question:- Life will keep demanding you to take decisions: some simple, some complex, and some life-changing. When unsure, ask yourself the question, “will it still matter five years down the line?” You will find your solution in the answer. And above all , know that I will always be there right by your side whenever you would need me. I love you! To teach more life lessons to your children, you can find out the information at money management for children. As parents, it is our duty to ensure our children grow up with self-confidence and high self-esteem. Here are some interesting activities that will boost your child’s confidence. 1. The 'goodness' slip: This can be a good family bonding game. Sit around in a circle after dinner. Pass around slips of paper and a pen to each family member. Each person should write down one good quality about each of the other members. Play some music and when the music stops, each person should read out the quality. The others should guess the person who possesses that quality. You’ll be surprised to see even your diffident child smiling when something good is read about her. The game can continue with more music, more writing down and more reading out. 2. Take a peep inside: Set aside some quiet time towards the end of the day. Get your children to spend some time reflecting on their own strengths and positive aspects of their personality and jotting them down in a diary. After the quiet time, ask them to read aloud what they had noted down. Even a child who has low self-esteem will sit up when he realises what a long list of strengths he possesses. 3. Present a bio: This can be a fun party game for children. During weekends, let your child and his cousins or friends engage in this interesting activity. Let each person make a presentation on the theme – ‘My bio’. Ask them to prepare a mini-narrative about themselves – their interests, hobbies, achievements, and so on. The presentation can be in the form of a speech, poster, Ppt, album, etc. They can begin their sentences with phrases such as, ‘I am good at…’, ‘I am proud of myself because…’, or ‘I am happy that I can…’. Such presentations will be a self-revelation for children about their true potential. The children can bring in a self-advertisement/commercial angle to the presentations. 4. Make a daily log: Get the children to write at least one accomplishment or one good deed of theirs every day on a poster on their room’s wall. If any child struggles to come up with something, talk to the child to find out about the day’s happenings and help him narrow down on that one aspect and jot it down. Sometimes, a simple deed of letting someone in a hurry pass by him on a crowded staircase may be forgotten by your child. Or, even answering a tough question in the class. But, when you underline it during your discussion, your child will become aware of what he has done and it will boost his confidence. 5. Portrait trees: Set up a flannel-board on one corner of the wall in your living room. Stick photographs of your children on the board. Write down the good qualities, strengths and special talents of each child on slips of paper and stick them above the photograph. Get the extended members of your family and friends also to do the same whenever they visit you. These portrait trees with the compliments will serve as a feel-good factor to your child and up his confidence level. 6. Throw darts: Fix a dart-board on a wall in your child’s room. Ask her to write down her fears and what she considers to be her weaknesses on pieces of paper and fix them to the dartboard using magnets. Then, have pep talks with her on how to overcome those fears and convert the weaknesses to strengths. Together, chart out a plan to address the issues. As you talk about each issue, ask her to aim her dart on the piece of paper which has the issue written on it and throw the dart saying, ‘I can do it!’. Make this a daily exercise, until your child has overcome the fears and weaknesses. 7. Pretend play: Encourage your child to engage in pretend play and role-play activities with his cousins and friends during weekends and holidays. Ask him to choose the role of characters whom he thinks would be a challenge to emulate. For example, if he is diffident about participating in sports, ask him to imagine being a famous sportsperson and address a press conference following a victory. Such activities will help your child overcome his diffidence and boost his self-esteem. 8. Follow the leader: When you have family outings and parties, make your child responsible for planning and organising the events. Assign her the role of leader and ensure that everyone takes instructions from her. This will be a big boost to her morale. Of course, you will need to guide her constantly during the initial phase until she is able to manage on her own. 9. Mirror talk: Another good activity can be encouraging your child to talk aloud facing the mirror about his fears, aspirations, etc. This can prove to be a therapeutic exercise. This activity will also provide the scope for positive self-talk. Your child can give himself pep talks focussing on the ‘can do’ attitude. Another interesting off-shoot of this activity can be posing questions such as, ‘Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Tell me who’s the smartest of all?’ Your child can mimic the mirror with the reply, ‘You, of course.’ The questions can vary with the ‘smartest’ being replaced with other qualities and traits. 10. Climb the ladder: Set up a mini ladder or paste the picture of a ladder on chart paper and hang it on the wall. Place your child’s photograph on the bottom-most rung of the ladder. Have pep talks with your child on how to overcome her weaknesses. Together, chart out steps to surmount the challenges she faces. Monitor your child’s progress on a daily basis and as she succeeds in each step, place her photograph on the next rung of the ladder. Continue this until you reach the top. Once done, take up the next challenge or issue and repeat the exercise. Visualising her progress and climb will surely do a world of good to your child’s self-confidence. You can get easier methods to teach moral and financial values to kids at money management guide and boost there self confidence to live in this world happily. What Manners Do:
At the heart of good manners is a respect for oneself and others. Good manners convey a sense of respect for the sensibilities of other people. When you say “thank you,” you’re taking the time to make the other person feel appreciated. Saying “please” respects a person’s right not to do what you’ve asked (it’s not so demanding with a “please” attached). Good manners also show that a child listens to his parents and does what he is taught – these are good character traits that teachers and other authority figures appreciate. Manners convey quite a bit of information! Manners and the Future: You do your children such a big favor when you teach them good manners. From bosses to girlfriends, good manners can make or break an opportunity. For instance, if your child is up for his first job and his credentials match another candidate’s, the more polite and mannerly candidate may end up with the job. If your child wants to ask a particular girl out, she may refuse a relationship if your child has bad manners. Even before those adult scenarios, your younger child may find that good manners go a long way in endearing himself to teachers, coaches, and peers. Simply put, your child may be more successful in life in general if he has good manners. The Big Picture: Are Your Kids Glued to Their Electronics? It’s not just your child’s future that is affected by her manners; it’s her parents’ reputation and, ultimately, the civility of the culture and society in which we live. While no one is perfect, imagine a culture where good manners just don’t exist – not a pleasant thought! Good manners set a standard of behavior against which other behavior can be measured, which helps keep order and civility in society. So it would seem that teaching your kids good manners has significant implications. It’s worth noting, too, that good manners modeled in the home can go a long way toward teaching them. In other words, rather than nagging about manners, just do them – then your kids learn that good manners are “just the way it’s done.” You can find out more ways to teach manners to kids and can make them a better person at children's books about economics . What is personal hygiene? Personal hygiene is how you care for your body. This practice includes bathing, washing your hands, brushing your teeth, and more. Every day, you come into contact with millions of outside germs and viruses. They can linger on your body, and in some cases, they may make you sick. Personal hygiene practices can help you and the people around you prevent illnesses. They can also help you feel good about your appearance. Learn more about why hygiene is so important, the best ways to practice it, and how you can change your habits to make yourself feel and look better. Personal hygiene for kids: Good personal hygiene will help your kids stay healthy, ward off illnesses, and build better self-awareness. It’s never too early to start teaching hygiene. You can wipe down your child’s hands after changing their diapers or before eating, brush their teeth and gums before bed, and get them into a daily bath routine. This helps you begin the process and slowly teaches them as they grow and take over the process. Here’s a list of hygiene activities, how you can introduce them, and when is a good time to start: 1.Bathing: You’ll be giving your baby baths regularly, but by about age 5, they should be able to handle this task on their own. As they’re growing and you’re supervising bath time, you should take the opportunity to teach about washing all the different body parts, especially:
2.Hand washing: Wipe your baby’s hands with a warm washcloth before mealtime, after eating, and after changing a diaper. During potty training, make washing hands an integral step in the process. You can teach your child to sing the ABC song while they wash — it’s 20 seconds long, which is an ideal washing time. Make it a priority to ask your child to wash their hands any time you’d like to encourage good hygiene, like before meals, after playing outside, after petting an animal, or after being near a sick friend. 3.Nail hygiene: You’ll clip your child’s nails when they’re a baby, but as they grow older, you can help them care for their own nails. Encourage your children to wash under their nails at each shower — a fun nail brush will help. Then, sit down with them weekly after a shower for a trim. Your nails are softer and clip more easily after a shower. By age 7, most children should be up for the task alone. 4.Brushing teeth: You can begin brushing your baby’s teeth and gums the moment the first tooth pops up. They can brush their own teeth by about 3 years old. However, you may have to stay with them to guarantee they’re doing a good job and brushing long enough. Play a 2-minute song when it’s time to brush teeth. That will let your little one know how long they have to brush, and they’ll get used to the process. Likewise, you may have to continue flossing for them until they’re older and can handle that task better, around age 7. You can find out more information at children's books about money and can help your children to learn about hygiene and personal cleanliness. Problem solving as a parent sometimes fills me with confusion and overwhelm. I find myself seeing all of things going wrong and despairing at figuring anything out. One of the things I’ve always had difficulty with is asking for help. Not because I don’t want it, but because I get confused and overwhelmed when I try to figure out what kind of help to ask for. Sometimes this means I wind up asking the wrong questions, or simply asking too broadly and not really getting the support I need. If this sounds like you, I hope the following will be useful. Asking specific questions I have a dear friend who is a design engineer. As he says, problem solving is his jam. I asked him once how he gets help as he works through complex problems. His answer is simple, but has given me guidance for asking better question in order to get better help: “In order to solve a generic problem, you have to be able to define what the actual problem is. If you don’t know what you’re trying to do, how can you work towards it? Now this definition doesn’t have to be complete to start. You can iterate it as you figure things out. As you find out more and more requirements you can get better answers from experts, because you are asking a specific question instead of a broad one.” ~Josh Rosen There is a lot we can take from this short statement when faced with a parenting dilemma. 1. You have to be able to define what the actual problem is. Often we have a knee jerk reaction when a difficult situation arises in our family. We can wind up only looking at the symptoms instead of digging deeper into what’s causing them. For instance, last winter my son’s behavior was terrible at home. It seemed like he was angry every day after school. The anger was really frustrating, but was actually only a symptom. It was covering his other emotions. After a lot of reflection and discussion my husband and I realized, it’s not that he’s angry. The problem is that he’s very unhappy and he’s expressing this through anger. Not only did this give us compassion, it helped us reframe the problem and ask better questions about what was going on in his days. 2. The definition of the problem doesn’t have to be complete to start. This is critical. As we put effort into solving any issue we learn things we didn’t know before. This is an important reminder that sometimes problem solving is messy. If you already knew the answer you wouldn’t be looking for help to begin with. This means instead of bashing yourself for going down a dead-end trail, you can see it as part of the process. At first we thought my son’s angry behavior was because of having a hard time getting up early for school in the morning and not eating all of his lunch. It took working on these issues for a while for us to realize there was something more going on. As we dug deeper we realized that the actual problem we were working on had more to do with him feeling disconnected from us and from his teacher. Our problem had gone through an evolution. It started out: he’s angry every day after school. Then became: he’s angry because he’s unhappy. And finally we reached the root of it: he’s angry because he’s unhappy and he’s unhappy because he’s not getting time to connect with us or with his teacher due to the larger class size and our busy schedules. 3. As you find out more and more requirements you can get better answers from experts, because you are asking a specific question instead of a broad one. When it comes to solving problems in your family, consulting with ‘experts’ could mean:
No matter what expert you go to, you’ll get better help if you have more specifically defined problems to work on. Some people are great at helping you do this refining. I have a friend who I can just blurt out everything to and get to the root of things, it’s wonderful. But that getting to the root of things is necessary so you can really get good help. Next – when you’re seeking help: What are the requirements for solving your problem? For instance, we had to look at my son’s anger and ask ourselves: are we willing to pull him from this school? No? Then we need to find a solution that fits with him still going to this school. “Requirements” when it comes to parenting might also take the shape of finding solutions that fit within your values. In our family we would not be willing to try to solve the problem of a child’s anger by using punishment. That wouldn’t fit with our parenting values. As we continued looking at what was going on with our son we were finally able to define the problem as: We need to add more connection into our son’s day. This is far more specific than: My son is angry all the time. Once we had this more specific problem to work on we could ask for help from the school. (A simple seating change gave him more access to the aide in the class.) At home we were able to enact solutions that really fit what was going on. (Making sure we sat down to dinner as a family regularly again, and looking for more little connection opportunities during the day made a big difference.) Had we wanted to seek help from another expert, for instance talking to a counselor, we would have been able to give more specific information about the problem. To Recap – How to Get Better Help When Problem Solving:
You can find out more information in popular kids book series and find out the ways to be a better parent to your children. As the end of the school year neared, both of my sons struggled with final projects. It was exhausting to have evenings filled with arguments about why they couldn’t possible get their work done. This was particularly bad one evening last week with one boy morosely sitting at the table not working and the other sitting in my office ranting out ALL the reasons it was completely impossible to get his report done. It’s easy, in these moments of heightened emotion to dive into trying to solve or placate, and that’s what I was doing. Does it help? No, not usually, and it didn’t this evening either. Instead my frustrated kids kept up their barrage of this-will-never-work type reactions. It was my husband who put an end to the chaos. My husband declared: It’s time for everyone to stop. We are eating dinner and then you are both going to bed. The boys weren’t hot on this plan (But my homework isn’t done! But! But!) However, their dad pointed out (rightly) that they were both too tired, hungry and upset to get work done. They could get up early, but it was time to stop. In the end this is exactly what happened, and yes, everything was easier in the morning. Hearing the need under the words What he did in this example was to notice the true need under the kids’ words. I’d been getting caught up in what the boys were saying, taking them quite literally and getting frustrated that we couldn’t solve their problem. My husband, on the other hand, heard what I call ‘red flag’ words and assessed the situation from a different perspective. He looked at what the kids actually needed. Red Flag Words We’re not always good at expressing what we feel and what we need. Sometimes our feelings come out in jagged and unfortunate words that hurt. One important skill we can work on as parents (and as people who want to learn to communicate better with anyone) is to notice words that indicate inflamed emotions, then start listening for what might be going on under those words. You know someone is probably upset or triggered when they use words like:
You don’t have to be ok with hurtful words! This is not to say you excuse these kinds of potentially hurtful words, but instead to say – use them as a warning light for yourself. If someone you’re talking to, be it adult or child, is speaking in one of the above ways, they’re probably not ready to sit and have a calm conversation. When you listen for the feelings underneath their words you may be able to find compassion for them and also keep yourself from tipping into a heightened emotional state. When I notice “red flag” words, I try to think, ‘I wonder what they’re feeling or experiencing that’s making them talk this way?’ As we back up a little and become observers, it is easier to take things less personally and respond more calmly. That step, of getting curious, is often a pathway to empathy, and once I feel empathy it’s easier to be there with the tough emotions instead of trying to shut them down. Or, in the case of my husband and the reluctant homeworkers, to get everyone to stop and take care of basic needs. You can find out more information at popular children book series and to know more let me know in the comment section. |
AuthorHi! I am Tim Connolly and I am providing help to parents to bring up their children in a healthy environment. I am working in this profession from last 5 years, if you have any query regarding this please contact me. Archives
June 2021
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